[personal profile] beastlover
So as you should all eventually learn, I am the Queen. I'm also addicted to chapstick. This combination led to a lovely oneshot my lovely friend Alice ([livejournal.com profile] bibliophile_ali ) wrote for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anything that doesn't make sense is a reference to the strange power dynamic semi-existent in my group of friends and some amazing inside joke that's most likely unexplainable.


"Good morning Ms. President."

I opened the drapes to the President's bedroom, raising her from bed. I felt more like a minion everyday in this job. I may have been the Puppet-Master but my station in the shadows behind the throne made it necessary for me to pretend to be the President's aid. That way, I was close enough to give advice and plans, but not under suspicion. It was logical. I still felt like a Pawn, not the Knight I am.

"What time is it?" Nicole (the president) asked me, rolling out of bed.

"9 a.m." I replied, not entirely happy about that. I wasn't a morning person.

"Alright," the President yawned, starting to get dressed. "What's the schedule for today?"

I pulled out my phone and brought up her schedule. "You've got paperwork until noon, lunch with the Japanese ambassador, a meeting with the Evil Overlord's Union at 2, Minion Recruitment at 3, interview with what's-his-name from the 5 o'clock news at 5, and the State of the Union Address tonight at 9."

"Right," she turned to me and grinned. "We've been in power six whole months now! Time to start getting serious."

~~~~ insert the amusing (except for the paperwork) events of the day ~~~~

Finally it was time for the State of the Union Address. Everything started off fine until about halfway through, Nicole's phone rang with a text message. She looked at it, then back up at the assembled politicians, news casters, hobos, and small children.

"I'm sorry folks, but it looks like there's been a national emergency. The Queen has run out of chapstick."

A murmur ran through the audience, obviously thinking it was a code for something. At least, until Nicole dispatched me to go get her some and resumed the address. I assumed that was it for the matter, but I saw the head of the FBI and the Department of Homeland Defense exiting the room as I left. By the time I reached my car, we had declared war on 3 countries, locked down D.C., deployed the Atlantic and Pacific Navy fleets, launched 7 missiles and begun what would become the 3rd World War.

I drove to the nearest drugstore, bought the nicest-smelling chapstick (SoftLips Mango Peach) I could find, hurried back to the assembly room, and calmly handed Elisabeth her chapstick. At that, another official quickly left the room. I found out later that he was the head of Area 51's Alien Research Centre, and the handing over of chapstick signaled that the Aliens were invading.
The ironic thing?
The very next day an alien spaceship landed on the lawn of the White House.

The END

Alice I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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beastlover

October 2011

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